The Emperor’s New Suit
by Taka
Once upon a very hot summer, marked as the hottest on record, just like the year before and the year before that, world leaders gathered for the Global Emergency Climate Crisis Summit (Again).
After a smooth arrival by private jet, they stepped into a freezing five-star conference center set to "Arctic Tundra" mode. The dress code? Business formal, of course. Nothing says “planet on fire” quite like wool suits and tightly knotted ties.
Inside the venue, top politicians and heads of environmental organizations gave impassioned speeches through perfectly whitened teeth.
“We must act now,” they declared. “This year is the last window before the last window before the real last window to save our planet.”
Everyone nodded solemnly and sipped bottled mineral water.
Buzzwords like “sustainability,” “green transition,” and “climate leadership” were tossed around like free lanyards. Cameras clicked. Applause followed. The suits stayed on.
Outside, children watched the news at school, sweating into their wooden chairs.
A small boy raised his hand.
“Miss, if it’s so serious, why are they still wearing suits?”
Silence followed. One girl whispered, “Maybe their suits are made of solar panels.”
Another added, “No, they’re wearing designer eco-suits made from recycled ocean plastic. They even have tiny fans in the collar. You have to charge them, of course.”
A third asked, “Why doesn’t anyone just wear lighter clothes?”
The teacher responded with a straight face, “Because saving the planet must look professional, apparently,”
The kids paused for a moment. Then they burst out laughing.
“They’re cooling the room, not the climate.” one of them shouted.
They started chanting it together, which quickly led to a post on social media.
The leaders, clearly uncomfortable but still clinging to their lapels, called for calm.
“Let’s not get distracted by fashion,” they said.
“Let’s focus on big, structural changes.”
Suddenly, one boy posted a comment:
“How can I trust you to cool the Earth if you won’t even cool your armpits?”
The leaders broke into a cold sweat. Then, without another word, they jumped onto their favorite shopping app and rushed to order suit-friendly deodorant.